There are days, weeks, months that hit in life, and no matter how hard you try you seem to sink, slide and fall deeper into negative vibes. You try and shake free, but despite your effort you feel more overwhelmed and heavier with each passing moment.
To be completely honest, I’m not living in the most positive frame of mind as of late, but I feel so insanely blessed despite that fact. I spend my days raising my beautiful son, as challenging as that may be, its the most rewarding experience of my life. I spend a huge portion of my time working aside friends(aka coworkers) who make me feel loved, appreciated and fill me with laughter daily. I get to spend time with the family and friends I can’t imaging living without, and I enjoy time in the pool and doing craft projects, baking, and gardening with my son, all hobbies I love. I have the unwavering love of the man of my dreams, and he tells me how much he loves me and how wonderful and beautiful he thinks I am everyday. The view looks pretty spectacular from here, but the trouble is stress can bog you down, and bliss can quickly turn to bad dreams.
As your bright days morph, you see life as a single parent with a husband away for months of out of town work, your drowning in projects and consumed by stress, pressure, and targets at work that are more overwhelming than fun. You’re getting way less sleep than required for life raising a toddler, the anxiety is building with the growing to do lists and the chaos of Christmas season is upon you. You’re already overbooked and understaffed, and the only thing overflowing in your life are the tears. You now spend every moment consumed by parenting, working, errands and more, and you find zero time for you. It’s easy to be exhausted, it’s easy to become overwhelmed, it’s easy to let the sadness kick in. Before you know it you’ve been consumed by negativity and you’re left feeling defeated.
My advice is to step back and try to refocus, and when it doesn’t work the first time, repeat it, and repeat again, and then again, and again, and again until it finally starts to sink in. Listen to those around you – if they’re noticing your not yourself take it as a gentle reminder that they love and care for you. Make lists of things you love, make lists of things you don’t. Try to implement and focus you’re energy on the good in your life. Dedicate your time to those good items and views whenever possible, take the negatives and push as much of it out of your life as possible. Clear schedules, take time off , refocus, get a babysitter, tell jokes at work, help others, emote and share love, play more, be a kid, get your hands dirty, create, inspire, grow, learn, reach, take and give advice, simply be free and focus on love and life. I’ll be honest it’s not always easy – For me it rarely resolves with my first attempt, but with persistence, positive actions and the help of others I can usually get back on track with a few good try’s. Every day wake up and exhale a little more negativity and take in another breath of something positive. Each day your morning will get a little lighter, and you’ll look back in a few weeks and notice just how far you’ve come.
It helps no one if I’m not truthful, so here’s an honest look at my life, a snap shot of my current positivity vs negativity of the day. I always make sure to start with the negatives and end with the good, forcing myself to end on a positive note. I also never let myself end my list with the negatives outweighing the positives. This force of habit ensures you leave your refocusing project happy, and each day theses happy thoughts will become easier to write, and you’ll be carrying less bad and more and more good with you instead.
The refocusing project:
– exhausted and sleep deprived
– looming sales targets and work pressure
– zero free time
– “single” parenting
– broken hearted without my husband
– confidence and self esteem at an all time low
– playtime with my Lil Bug
– corny jokes with Tracy
– Christmas cheer
– reuniting with my hubby this week
– baby and fur baby cuddles
– working close to home
-constant laughter from coworkers
– swimming weekly
– family visits
Now read your positives and really focus on how many there are and how blessed each make you feel. Read them 5, 10, 100 times if you need to until you feel a lift in your spirits. Repeat this every other or every day until you naturally start processing these thoughts on your own. The trick is to retrain your brain, and given time and effort – you will. Patience and persistence is key, and the belief that you deserve to be happy more than anything else. Don’t ever give up.
I hope you find your happy today and always. On the days you falter know you’re not alone. I hope you find the strength to see the light within you and your life, and that you reach out, grab it and hold it close to your heart.
Remember, you deserve to smile brightly, laugh loudly, cry tears of joy, feel beautiful inside and out, exude strength,and simply be proud of who you are and the choices you have made. You are incredible, never forget that. Know you’re not alone, we all stumble and will continue to throughout life. I only hope you take a deep breath, shake off a little more of your sadness and step further into the light.
May you realize just how strong, brilliant, and beautiful you are. You deserve to be happy -it’s time to seize it.